Emancipation
by CNJ
Summary: Jackie Harris, 16, moves out of her parents' house into her own apt.She's glad her nightmarish childhood is over & feels ready to begin adulthood w Roseanne's support.But can she heal emotionally? Or will she continue to be haunted by painful memories?
1. Jackie's New Lease

Hiii! I am so glad to see _Roseanne_ fanfic on here from some others, including **Curlymonic1215**, **Shadow of a Halo**, and **Mman773**! I read your stories and they're great; keep it up, all three of you; hope adds a category for _Roseanne_ soon, esp. with the DVD of season one coming out soon! Soo, I've added one of my own. I have bits of _Roseanne_ fanfic that I need to get organized...here's a small piece from when Jackie is 16 and Roseanne is 19; this first chapter is from Jackie's POV; Roseanne helps the newly emancipated minor Jackie move out on her own...

The usual disclaimers that none of these characters belong to me; they all belong to the swell Roseanne and Carsey-Warner productions. Enjoy!

**Emancipation**

_By_: **CNJ**

**1: Jackie's New Lease**

**Jackie:**

I'm not surprised, but I am still hurt that Mom and Dad didn't stay to say goodbye the day I moved out on my own. I was sixteen, had completed high school with a GED, acing the final exams. Roseanne, my older sister, who is nineteen, always tells me that I am brighter than I believe. But she does this because she's my beloved sister.

The house was nearly empty as Roseanne helped me carry the larger things out of the house and to my new apartment over a garage. I carried the lighter loads since I am very small. Mom always nagged me that I'm too skinny and need to gain weight. But who can really eat in this house I'm leaving? I know I haven't been able to lately; my stomach has been so tight that it hurts.

I'm glad to be escaping this madhouse, the loony bin that's been threatening my sanity lately. I shuddered involuntary as I suppressed so many frightening memories of Mom and Dad screaming at each other, the thrown things, and the beatings. _Oh...stop_, I leaned on a wall and fought with one ugly memory that threatened to choke me...Dad pulling my hair and holding that damned belt menacingly over me.

"You all right, sis?" Roseanne came over and put an arm around me. She will be moving in with her fiancée, Dan, in another month. Throat dry, I nodded, then willed myself to continue moving my things to the van. We've both been through this madness together.

"They didn't even stay to say goodbye…" My voice threatened to break as I got the last thing loaded and Roseanne got in and started the van. "Not that I'm surprised, but…" I fought back tears, not wanting to see that house again. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to blot out the image of the house and within it, sixteen years of painful memories…for Roseanne, it would be nineteen.

"They hate the idea of us being free of them…" Roseanne told me. "That's how twisted they are…act like we're a stain on their lives, then can't stand us movin' out either…is that sick reverse psychology or what?" Roseanne grinned as she drove toward the apartment. I tried to smile, but couldn't.

Oh, if only I could be as strong as my sister and see the funny side of things. But I'm different. I get bruised over things, then like the whiner I know that I am, usually cry about them, then brood over them forever. I don't understand why I don't just get over things and I have so much trouble healing.

I remember back when I was about twelve or so, something embarrassing happened, I don't even remember what and I became upset as I always do over stupid things and spent days feeling miserable. The teacher, Ms. Misner, could see it and I remember her telling me, _Jackie_…_get over it already_…_you need a thicker skin than that_ and the other kids looking at me and snickering. I also remember feeling frustrated with myself because I could not take Ms. Misner's advice and just get over it.

I do hope that now that I am working and on my own, I can find a way to develop a thicker skin and not get upset so easily. Then maybe I won't have so many problems and won't have to cry in my sister's arms so much.

Roseanne was a great help that afternoon; she helped me unpack, so I treated her to a pizza, which we ate with a beer on the floor. Roseanne's fiancée, Dan, joined us and the three of us ate together and talked about our future hopes. Roseanne had a million suggestions on what I could do to spruce up the small, one-room apartment.

I looked over at my sister and her future husband and felt a small pang of envy, yet happiness for them at how happy they are with each other. Dan is becoming like a brother to me and is a great match for my sister. Both of them are funny, boisterous, and outgoing. I smiled softly as I remember convincing my sister to marry Dan, that she'd be passing up a great catch if she passed him over.

"So…welcome to adulthood, little sister," Dan smiled at me.

"Thanks…" I sipped my beer and looked around. It's a small, dusty place just over a garage, but it suits me fine. I don't have a lot of needs or stuff. My things mostly lay in small piles here and there and my few clothes lay in a pile on the cot I'd rummaged up from a scavenger hunt through old but good furniture people had thrown out. It's amazing how middle-income and rich people throw perfectly good stuff away. It's a waste, really. I guess because we've grown up mostly working-class, my sister and I only throw things out if it's really in pieces or no longer works and can't be fixed.

I saw my purse and checkbook by the cot and felt a surge of pride as I thought about the checking account I'd opened up a few months ago at Grey Rock Bank. I'm glad I have the bar job to keep up my bank account, since I'll need that money to really make it on my own because I've made this absolute promise to myself that I will never, never move back to that house with my parents. I needed this breakaway from Mom and dad to keep my sanity and to learn to "get over" things and get tougher and stronger. Even though I know Roseanne is already so strong, I'll be counting the days when she can move out of there and in with Dan.

"I'll be back tomorrow and I can help organize…" Roseanne told me as she and Dan got ready to head home.

"Thanks…" I reached out and impulsively hugged her." I'm counting the days when you can break out of that jail." All three of us laughed softly.

"Take care…" Dan added softly as he and Roseanne headed downstairs. I waved until they were out of sight. Then I closed the door and slept my first night in emancipation. It was also the first peaceful night I'd had in several years and I slept deeply and contentedly. My cot was thin, but it might as well have been a comfortable queen-style bed by the way I slept.


	2. Jackie's Broken SelfEsteem

**Emancipation**

_By_: CNJ

**2: Jackie's Broken Self-Esteem**

**Roseanne:**

"So Dan and I start of leave this greasy diner and the waitress squalls _You're not leavin' a bigger tip?_ And I tell her, _Next time we'll add to this time_…_and then start on the tip for the second time another time we come back_…_factory and drywall work doesn't let you keep up to date on tips, ya' know_. And we leave." I finished our story. By that time, Dan, Jackie, and I were cracking up. We sat around the small table at Jackie's apartment two months later eating takeout Chinese and beer and talking.

Finally, Dan and I have moved into our own apartment, much to Mom and Dad's consternation. Dan works doing drywall while I work at Wellman Plastics Factory.

We talked a while longer. Jackie's still bartending and I think she likes being on her own. I know it's been good for her frayed nerves getting away from Mom and Dad. She's not biting her nails as much and her back doesn't look like an overstarched shirt anymore.

As we talked, Jackie pulled out a deck of cards and we played poker for a couple hours until we almost fell asleep sitting. Jackie had invited us to spend the night, so we got ready for bed and settled in our cots.

"Hey, sis…" Jackie whispered.

"Yeah…" I muttered.

"I'm glad you're out of there." Jackie's brown eyes peered at me seriously.

"Yeah…" I mumbled, feeling myself nodding off already. "They made the escape easy for me also by hiding out upstairs, so don't feel too bad about them not being there for your move." I was glad that those two didn't stay around; I had no need to say goodbye to two of the most sorry excuses of parents in the Midwest.

Jackie's different from me in that way. She's like the princess in that old story _The Princess and the Pea_ about that girl who gets bothered by a tiny pea under twenty mattresses. With Jackie, she's so sensitive that she'd be bothered by mashed potatoes under two hundred mattresses; she'd be whining that the mashed potatoes felt gritty under her butt.

But Jackie's sensitivity makes her more understanding than most people I know. She's easy to love and always has a soft spot for others. She's the best sister I could ask for. I drifted off, mulling over all this.

* * *

**Roseanne:**

I woke up later that night without knowing why. Looking at Jackie's glow in the dark clock, I saw that it was two in the morning. Then I heard a soft sound, like a gasping noise. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw Jackie's form sitting up in her cot. She seemed to be shaking and I heard gasps coming from her, then a sniffle. She's crying, I realized. Getting up, I came over and turned on the lamp.

"Jackie…is everything all right?" I whispered. Jackie continued to weep, her face buried in her hands. She stayed curled into a ball for a long minute, her long, thick, dark hair almost covering her small frame. I touched her shoulder softly. She jumped a little, then slowly looked up, wiping her wet face.

"What's the matter?" I reached over and grabbed some tissues and handed them to her. She blew her nose and wiped at her tearful eyes, only to have fresh tears well up in her eyes and spill down her face. My heart ached for her; she looked so broken with her mouth drooping and her thick brows slanted at the bridge of her nose.

"I'm…" Jackie gave another sob. "…j-j-just no good…"

"Oh, Jackie…" I stroked her back. "Sure you are…"

Jackie shook her head, the tears continuing to fill her eyes and run down her face. "I'm…a m-m-mess…can't do anything right…I cry t-too m-much…I'm just a little piece of shh-shit…even my own parents…" Jackie began to choke a little and her tears drowned out her ability to say any more.

I hugged her, my own stomach turning, feeling a wave of anger toward Bev and Al Harris for doing this to my sister. They tried to do it me too, but I didn't let them; I made myself tough and outwardly impervious to their cruel insults, their damn belt hitting me. But Jackie is just too sensitive and never had been able to develop that outer armor, so their cruelty just crushed Jackie. My heart just went out to her.

I let her cry for a long while in my arms, rocking her as if she were my child. In many ways, she was my child, more so than she ever was Al and Beverly Harris's. I'd held her often like this at home when she cried. I felt like her protector in that crazy, awful house.

Now that we're out of that house, we're safer, but I knew Jackie was still going to need a lot of nurturing and help to help her deal with the trauma of our childhood.

"Want some tea?" I asked gently. Jackie wiped her face and nodded. I knew where the tea things were, so I set about boiling the water and getting out the tea bags.

Jackie wrapped her blanket around herself and watched me with such a sad expression on her face that I had to reach over and stroke her hair some. Her big brown eyes reminded me of a sad lost puppy.

Her straight hair is actually very much like mine, but now it hung in tangled clumps around her thin, nervous face. She really could use some fattening up, I thought. I smiled ruefully as I glanced down at my own chubby body.

I brought the tea over and we sipped quietly. Jackie still had tears in her eyes and her hands trembled a little, but she was calmer; her crying was down from a Richter scale of fifty back to one again.

"D'ya' know why I don't have any mirrors in this place?" Jackie whispered, the tears still in her voice.

"You're afraid of the place looking too huge and you getting lost with your sense of direction," I quipped.

Jackie managed a shaky smile, but her tears welled up again. "I…c-c-can't stand to l-look at myself…" Her hands began to shake harder again and she had to put her cup down lest she ended up wearing her tea with the Richter scale going up again. I put my hand on her arm, trying to keep her from reverting back into the mess she'd been a little while ago.

I also feel so angry with Beverly and Albert Harris; they're just lousy excuses who called themselves our parents!

"I can tell you this, Jackie…" I told her softly. "Mom and Dad are just mean! If they didn't love us, that's their damn problem, not ours."

Jackie shrugged, her head down, fresh tears dripping down onto her cot.

"Hey, Jackie, look up…"I whispered. Jackie continued to cower, her pride and self-esteem so wounded that she just couldn't look up. "Hey, don't cower…you are a wonderful person…don't believe any of their crap. Dan and I love you and I'm selective about who I love. C'mon, Jackie, look up…don't cower…don't let them do this to you."

I took hold of her chin and moved it up, so her head was up. Her tearful eyes remained downcast and I had to wave a little to get her to raise her eyes. Beautiful brown eyes, even filled with tears. She only looked up briefly, but it was a start. Once I caught her eyes, I whispered, "I love you…you're a good person…the best sister I could ask for…you're smart…can you make yourself believe it?"

Jackie managed a weak nod, but was looking down again.

"Look how well you've managed on your own," I continued. "Holding down a decent job, managing this place, keeping track of your own checking account…all without any help from anyone….you're going to make it, Jacks…we'll get through this together…okay, sis?" I hugged her again.

Jackie nodded and hugged me, leaning on me for a long minute. A few more tears slid down her small face. I held her for a very long time. In some ways, broken up as she was, she gave me comfort as well.

More later!


	3. New Beginnings

Finally! Got the last and final chapter of this story done! It's four months later...enjoy!

**Emancipation**

_By_: CNJ

**3: New Beginnings**

**Jackie:**

I could hear the violin start at the front of the yard in back of the Lodge that cool March day four months later. The weather was cool, but there was a faint hint of spring in the air on this day that my sister Roseanne married Dan, her longtime boyfriend and lover.

I stood near the back since I was the bridesmaid at their wedding. After a long, sometimes painful winter, I was feeling better these days and I don't hurt as much thinking about Mom and Dad, who by the way, are not even at this wedding. We haven't had contact with them for many months now. I've tried writing to them, but they don't answer our letters. I turned seventeen in January and am trying not to dwell on our parents and trying to concentrate on healing my heart and starting my adult life.

My apartment is working out very well now and I'm still bartending. Roseanne now has a job at the Wellman Plastics Factory and the pay is decent. Dan does drywalling and is getting paid all right for that and they now have a house on 714 Delaware Street.

Just then, my sister and her soon-to-be husband walked up the aisle in their best...my mouth fell open as I took in the lovely bride my sister made in her long pale mauve dress and mauve veil. They grinned at me when they saw me and I remembered to close my mouth and smiled back at them. Dan also looked good in a dark blue suit with a red tie.

Another friend of ours who's also a bridesmaid like me joined us...Crystal. We both had on identical purple flowered long dresses. We stood at the back for a few minutes while the judge began the opening lines of the ceremony.

It was a simple outdoor ceremony, but a beautiful one with flowers all over and an archway in the front where my sister and her boyfriend were to get married. Roseanne gives me a quick hug as she and Dan start to walk up the aisle. I felt a pang of a strange emotion as I watched my beautiful sister walk up the aisle. It was a touch of envy, yet happiness, then a feeling of almost bereftness...she's married and I'm not.

I also looked around, feeling a bit like an ugly duckling among swans. Crystal looked very pretty and I smiled nervously at her, feeling self-consciously buck-toothed, stringy-haired, flat-chested, and skinny. She smiled back.

Our cue then went and both of us started up the aisle. I swallowed nervously, realizing that the small crowd was watching us. I had a terrible moment of silent panic, feeling spectactularly ugly and ashamed of myself and could feel my hands begin to shake, but then I caught Roseanne and Dan beaming back at us and felt calmer, although my heart was still hammering.

Perhaps it was Roseanne and Dan's silent encouragement, but I made it through the ceremony keeping my self-consciousness at bay and enjoying the ceremony. I had to wipe tears from my eyes when Roseanne and Dan are pronounced husband and wife and they go back up the aisle.

* * *

"To the new bride and groom!" Crystal crowed as she held up her beer glass and we all toasted once the ceremony was over and we gathered for the reception also in the yard. A couple of people were already tipsy and I myself was working on my second beer. I gulped it down, partly to relieve my dry throat and partly because I love beer.

I still felt a bit bereft, especially watching Roseanne and Dan dance together. But then I felt so happy for them, enjoyed their deep love. What a lovely couple they made, I thought. They'd dated since sophomore year of high school. I was lucky if I could have a boyfriend for more than a month. I tried to shove away the thoughts of my painful, awful acne-ridden teenage years and remind myself that it's over and that I am now an adult.

"That was a beautiful ceremony," I told my sister once she'd stopped to get a beer. Dan joined her and all three of us toasted.

"Thanks..." Roseanne told me, putting an arm around me. Oh, how good her strong arm felt around me again. "Jackie...you're forever welcome at our house...know that nothing will change between us as sisters." She gave me a hug then and I hugged back, feeling tears spring to my eyes.

"Oh, Roseanne..." I wiped my eyes. "I needed to hear that."

"And we'll be there when it's your turn to get hitched," Dan told me, adding his hug.

"I wonder if my turn will ever come," I mumbled sadly. I can't picture myself as a bride...I'm just...I still feel too ugly.

"It will..." Roseanne said softly. "At the right time."

"I wonder if our parents...?" I say sadly. Dad probably won't walk me down the aisle either, I realized dejectedly.

My sister and her new husband must have read my thoughts because Dan said softly, "Jackie...if you need somebody...I'll be there when your time comes."

"Will you?" I said.

"Sure..." Dan grinned down at me.

"Oh...thank you." I hugged them both again.

"This wedding won't change a thing between the three of us..." Roseanne told us. "We'll always, always stick by each other just like that judge said and whenever things get rough...we always have us...hey, let's do a three-way dance!" She waved at the violin player and sure enough, all three us of us found a way to dance a three way jig to seal our pact to celebrate our new beginnings. At first, people looked at us in surprise, then joined in our laughter.

_Storyline Copyright_ 2005 by **CNJ**


End file.
